Lately, I’ve been in my head a lot just thinking and trying to make sense of the thoughts in my mind. Be warned, this post might be a little all over the place and resemble a diary entry…
Wanderlust: (n.) A strong desire or urge to wander or travel and explore the world.
We’ve all seen those quotes and pictures, whether it be on instagram, pinterest, or facebook.. In college, I remember getting “sucked” into this wanderlust mindset right around finals time, desperately trying to escape my reality for hours at a time. Anything that got my mind off studying and the upcoming bombardment of exams. I was on a path then. A deadset path to graduating and finding a job.
And then I graduated.
And then I got a job.
And then I quit my job.
And then I moved to the other side of the world to be with my soul mate.
I am literally living my dream.
So why do I keep trying to follow a path that’s already been created? Or more commitments to tie me down? Maybe because my life has always been that way? Maybe I’m scared of not knowing which way I’m going? This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, as I sit at home or wander around the Weiden city centre.
In the past three weeks I’ve contemplated getting a student visa to start taking classes in Germany full time (To study what? Who knows?), thought about getting a gym membership, applied to several jobs, and seriously considered getting a dog (um, HELLO commitments!).
I think that I just want a purpose. When I was in school, that purpose was to make good grades and to graduate. When I started working, that purpose was to show up to work and to care for my patients. But now, I don’t really have anything that I HAVE to do. If I choose to wake up at 10AM every day, nobody is going to get on my case. No one is waiting for me to show up anywhere. As much as I ABSOLUTELY LOVE cleaning the house, doing dishes and cooking, you can only do that for so long before all the dishes are clean the clothes are neatly folded. [For those of you that didn’t catch it, that was sarcasm – this is for you dad – We’re in the process of hiring a cleaning lady :P] And it’s quite an adjustment, to be honest. I was never a free soul, as much I imagined myself to be. I was never a wanderer. I had a map, a compass, a timeline and blinders on. And I stuck to that map and timeline like nothing else. As much as I have plans to go back to school and eventually get my phD, I intentionally set aside these next two years to travel, spend time with Randy, and see where life took me.
So why not jump off the deep end, right? Starting in a week, I’ll be travelling to London, Palermo, and Nantes (Brittany, France). These trips are all about not having a plan and doing what feels right in the moment. I want to explore the southern coast of the United Kingdom, and get on a red double decker bus in London. I want to laze around on the beach in Sicily with new friends. I want to spend days hiking in beautiful fields and mountains. I want to delve into reading again, like I used to when I was younger, when my parents would literally take my books away as punishment for not doing my chores. Sometime between middle school and now, I seem to have lost that passion. I want to see what this “solo travel” craze is about.
So here’s to sleeping on couches, making friends with strangers, long bus rides, crystal clear beaches, burning thighs from hiking never-ending ascents, delicious food, and vino (of course!).